“Life is ironic. I have to let go of my reserved seat besides you so I could share a seat with you – then get to know you.”

A new found friend asked me, “What should I do? I am confused. I have a rekindled feeling for my high school sweetheart and a relationship with a boyfriend for three years.”

I am NO joe the mango. In fact I have many failed relationships than an average joe could possibly have. I decided to tell her a story instead and let her reflect about it.

The first story was about the man & the corn field. I told her that there was once a man who was told by the landlord of the sweet corn’s field:  “You can pick and keep the biggest corn from my cornfield but with one condition: as you pick the biggest sweet corn, you have to keep on running without stopping until you reach the end of the cornfield. There is no turning back and no going back as well. To top all these, you can only pick one corn.”

The man said: “Well, that is easy!” and off he goes to run in the cornfield. Then he saw a sizable corn a few meters away, he said to himself: “this is one big corn.” BUT when he reach the corn stack he decided that he might find a bigger one in the middle of the field so he did not pick the corn. This goes on with the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth and an almost countless big corns he just did not pick thinking that farther on the field there will be a much bigger corn.

Then the man reached the point that he could already see the end of the cornfield. He fanicked then he pick the biggest corn he could see in sight. He ended with a mediocre size corn.

She asked me, “so, what is the moral of the story”. I told her, do not delay your decision; you might end with a mediocre corn. You have to decide now. Then, she said, hmmm… you make my problem a lot difficult this time.

Then I told her: The human heart capable of loving more than one person. So, you should not worry about “being still in love” with your highschool sweet heart.  It is humanly possible and normal. Likewise, do NOT confuse Love with that exciting feeling. In fact, love is not even close to that feeling. BUT when it comes to that “Matrimonial Love,” you will have to see that it is more than that exciting feeling.

It is all about commitment.  It is the commitment to stay in love even when the other has started to become unlovable since he/she has grown old; or you found out that there are characteristic that he/she have that you DO NOT LIKE; or that he/she is low in cash but high in maintenance; or you have simply outgrown him/her.

Maybe I can make your decision a little lighter with this quote: “You can NEVER step on the same river twice.” She said, what do you mean by that?

I said, remember that when you step on the river your second chance to step in would be with a different river, the first one is already down stream. If you are thinking that the person you have met in your high school days is the same person, you are wrong. You might be nostalgic, but that person you might be looking for is already downstream – not the same person you meet now.  There will be a lot of catching up to do.

In the end, you will have to choose your big corn!